Yeah, nah.

It’s 1:23am here while I compose this arbitrary post that had somehow turned existential. As I scroll through randoms and copious amount of content from social media, I am reminded of my childhood self, specifically the young me who had hoped to have been better than where I currently am now.

I had proudly stated that when I was older, more mature (adulting, if you may), I would have my dream house, dream clothes, dream work and dream life. I would be the envy of, then younger self, as I would wear, do, and buy whatever it was that my heart wanted.

And yet here I am, in my early 30s- jaded, cynical and unmotivated. While the basic idea of having the things I had yearned for had been accomplished. I feel EMPTY.

It doesn’t help that most of Australia, including my lovely state of NSW has been in an 11 week lockdown (and counting). I yearn to explore, but with the lack of motivation and direction, I fear that I may very well end up to where I was initially dissatisfied with.

I realised that after looking through well constructed narratives, I myself do not have a current DREAM. I feel empty, aimless and with no direction.

Solo Life

Solo Life

Its been awhile…

In fact 5 years has passed and I had to just re-log in to secure my blog as I had forgotten which account and passwords this book blog was in. As a Gemini I like to keep up with different personalities and that did/does include different accounts for different hobbies, but as my previous blog can attest to I am also a scatterbrain, so definitely not a good combination.

The consolation has been that I kept up with reading, however, only the e-version of it and sadly only smut and trash reads and some non-fiction here and there. Also kept out of touch with booktube, bookstagram and my book blogs. Was out of the loop with the ins and outs of whatever bookish online things and did not buy an actual tangible book for years. So, basically this blog didn’t really miss out on much on that forefront.

Come 2021 and that had changed as did the rest of the world. From late 2019 the pandemic (to be worldwide known as COVID-19) hit internationally, as I lived in Australia I didn’t really feel the brunt of it till March 2020.

Come 2021 was the start (more like the return) of my bookish tendencies- went to Kinokuniya bookstores to purchase books, QBD Books, Dymocks (sadly closing where I lived), booktopia, bookdepository, Salvos, Redcross OP SHOPS, secondhand online stores (Australian) and Facebook Marketplace- basically I went on a book buying bender from May 2021- till August. Currently on a book buying ban now, whether or not this will hold, is definitely up to discussion.

Regardless, not that anyone was waiting, I would like to say I am officially back into the bookish world. I want to be held accountable for the books I have been hoarding, had acquired and purchased. Cheers to more content in the future and definitely watch this space!!

What I know for sure

The sun rises

and a new day begins

Always…

 

New Year x_X !! (Ready Set Go) ’16

Ooh how time flies, I know it has been awhile since my last update, I have no excuse other than the fact that I couldn’t be bothered. However, I have been active in goodreads, so lets be friends!

Now that’s out of the way, Happy New Year to each and everyone of you. May you have a blessed and prosperous new year ahead of you, I wish y’all the best of luck in your future endeavours. I know I definitely need it, as I will be sticking to a book challenge of my own this year.

So, before I get to it, I’d like to give an overview of what were dealing we; every single time I have to clean my room its an all day affair (if I’m hard at work) or a three day affair, and all because of my landmass of a tbr pile. My bookcase is bursting, the columns have yet to give way, but it’s clearly bent- but, I love it.

This year , I would like my goodreads yearly reading challenge to mostly consists of books from my personal library, and since I went (still am) through a Rory Gilmore phase, a lot of my books would correspond to the Rory Gilmore Book Challenge, not to mention the BBC 100. You may look at it as four separate challenges;  Goodreads, Landmass TBR Pile, Rory Gilmore Book Challenge and the BBC 100; but, they’re all interconnected. So, i’ll be calling them the ‘MY BOOKS ARE BETTER THAN SLEEPING’ – *a.k.a* The Start of the Personal Books Slaying Year…

Pardon my train of thought, I am trying to be as coherent as possible in my slightly inebriated state.  Its 6am here and I have to bid you farewell and finish up laundry before I start being a ‘new’ (same old) person for the year 2016.

 

 

P.S.

I will be adding a longer list of books much later on, and you know the drill- cross out of titles once read. Wish me luck my fellow Bibliophiles..

History does not always cause you Misery..

In the past two  days, I have an accumulated sleep of about three hours. Is it insomnia? Could be.. Is it assessments? Most probably. To be perfectly honest though, it is quite simply every other student’s self-diagnosed disorder- chronic procrastinating..

I had a whole week to do three assessments, totalling 6,000 words. Instead I did it in three days, all the night before they where due. Am I proud? A little bit, I like this feeling of having a tiny sense of accomplishment, even if it affected all other forms of functioning.

I finished the last of this semester’s psych reports! I handed my assessment in this morning, sporting  carefully camouflaged eye bags. My body’s main fuel has been caffeine, Im wired as a CPU (haha, corny) But all is well that ends well..

I have one (last) more  assessment due! Thankfully this is not a report or a psychological essay.. Its a portfolio!! YIpee..

What causes stress in human beings. I probably would’ve answered, writing assessments and critical thinking. There where just countless times wherein I embodied the psycho in psychology. But enough of this depression and whatnot. Im reading good literature, keeping me sane and sober. Holden Caulfield held my hand and kept me company whilst my sad sorry eyes where stinging from the lack of sleep. Coupled with a hot cafe mocha from GJ, then I felt like I was floating in marshmallow heaven.

*SELF ACTUALISED Individuals, do not, I repeat, DO NOT PROCRASTINATE!

Heh.. really? Well, Im far from one, so no pressure..

Empty words and Promises..

I’m currently on my one week intra-break from uni, most students would probably relish the idea of not having to go uni for lectures and tutorials; but not me. I love the exercise, the catching the bus, reading on the train and getting some much needed motivation (as well as information) from both teachers and students. As many of my family members and friends can attest to, I am a massive procrastinator- lazy to the bone, so to speak. I am constantly in need of a push, nag, a feedback, etc.

 

It’s Monday today and I know that I pretty much have this whole week to start

(supposedly finish) all two of my assessments which are due the first few days back.

3,300 words to be exact- No need to panic, just start now (my ideal self says)

You’ve got time, have fun, its a break, (my usual self shouts- and is currently winning)

 

God, Buddha, Allah, Help!!

Random thoughts on Reading without paper..

Goodreads has been a constant companion in terms of directing me towards books to read, its literally like my manual. Drool worthy books splashed across my dashboard has made me realise that I could never have enough money- not to mention patience to wait for the books that I want to own/have now. Everyone knows that I would rather use my hard earned moolah to buy books than shopping for clothes and other must have girly items. Initially I have always been a purist when I came to books, only reading actual tangible books either from the library; or books I have bought. But ever since my mum gave me a kindle for Christmas, two years ago, I have been enthralled. It was hard at first to get used to holding a portable device that eliminates the actual flicking and dog-eared pages (which i am used to) as per tradition of reading; but after awhile I was enjoying it- I embraced the featherweight feeling; instead of lagging with me 2-3 books. It just seemed more practical, really. I still occasionally borrow books from the library, so, you could say that I am still half a purist. Nothing could ever really take away the feeling of a thick paperback, but my love for books would always be constant regardless of whatever outlet I read them from..

 

BOOKS FTW!!!

My dear..

Shiloh was like the son I never intended to have. Funny, how unexpected things just become come and bring out the light,of our once ignorant thoughts. He was by far one of my fondest memory in my mediocre 60 years of existence. The boy was a machine, a sponge; to eager and too adventurous, even for his own good. But, like many of his child-like impulses and impatient candor, his heart was in the right place. 

I believed in that sentiment even now as he sat opposite next to me, in an orange jumpsuit. Our line of intimacy cut off by a transparent glass in between…

Working Girl..

So, university’s officially out! Assessments handed in and Exams done and dusted. Just seriously crossing my fingers and foolishly hoping that I pass all my exams. I even made a list of reasons plastered on my study table on why I should pass all my exams- starting with the words EXPENSIVE. 

and on that note, I want to fly through the ‘good’ stuff…

 

TIME FLIES. Most definitely…

Not long ago, I was slaving off writing lists on what to do once Im done with my exams, all of them revolving around ‘chillaxing, lazying, reading lots and lots of books, trying to create a dent on my tbr-pile’. However, I was lucky enough to acquire a Christmas casual gig!! and by gig I mean a paying job. Who doesn’t want extra moolah?? 

 

For the record this job was seriously a long process to acquire, normally when you go for a contractual Christmas casual job, which by the way is only till January- you only have one face-to-face interview, then a call-back follows if you get the job or not. However, this was not the case with this one; there was the telephone interview (at an awkward time, I might add) then there is the store manager interview, area manager and then the meeting of the owners. Keep in mind that you definitely need to pass each process before going through the next. Heck, I thought I botched the first one (phone interview) since she called me in the morning and caught me off-guard- I had bed hair and dribble!! But hey, they seemed to like me. And not to be gloating or anything, but I guess the long process was due to the ‘status’ of this organisation (business). Its a pretty famous jewellery store, known internationally. I am most definitely proud to be a part of it, even for a short time. 

 

I borrowed heaps of library books from both of my membership areas. Then borrowed The mentalist dvds, and even bought asian doramas. 

 

Time sure does fly and I reckon before I know it, I’ll be back at Uni (quite unfortunate really). 

Enjoy ur free days.. What are you guys reading???